An emotional sip!

Leonberg, 28^th March 2014 6.30 P.M.

Dark clouds playing hide and seek, Roars in the sky, Flooding wind through the small gap in the window. I opened the door of my apartment. Headed straight to the shower, back to the window dressed in my most comfortable cotton tshirt and tracks.

I opened the window.. I can still see the sunshine, bright at one end and cloudy dark reflections on the other end of the road. This is my 50 shades of grey!! I translate everything I see into pixels, frames, hue, saturation, whites and blacks. I am a photographer by passion and a software engineer by profession.

Just back from a wildlife photo shoot and an energy draining trekking, I knew I gave more work to my body than what it can easily take.

The cold breeze which indicated the chances of showers tried fighting with the steam forom my mug of hot coffee. I know I ll make my coffee win the battle. 8 sips, 2 mins, I declare the winner. With a Chanakyan grin on my face I was relishing the aroma of my strong coffee.

The winds were strong, moist and cold. The name board of my apartment was trebling. So were my knees. Sip. I looked back at life. I know I got all that I wanted. I learnt to chase my dreams. I remember my dream of join the most happening Software Company. Sip again. I still remember how I made it inside with a clean sweep. Like the winning moments of the world cup.  Sip again. I knew How I started chasing my dream of leaning to play guitar. I was reminded of people who laughed at me when I wanted to learn music at the age of 25. Many felt I was too old for it. The moments of my first stage show 2 years back to the latest TV recording flashed like a movie trailer. Sip again. I won the family lottery. The best souls in the world were related to me blood. Sip again. How did I miss my sweet little hero DON. My dachshund . A bravo. He will miss me. Sip again. Travelling to Germany and to work here was my passion. I made it here. I love the colours and flavors of Deutschland. I have beautifully captured them in my frames. Frames of mind and camera. Sip again. I know to make friends. There were still people from different parts of the world to say I miss you buddy. One in Bangalore, 2 in US, 2 in Coimbatore, and many more.. Being myself was the key. I never tried to pretend. I have probably underplayed many moments, but never tried to fake. I love being myself.

But that one gap. I know how much I missed it. It took me years to realize how much I missed it. The last sip of coffee. I didn’t drink it yet. Moist eyes made the dying steam blur. The steam witnessed first drop of drizzle. It wasn’t sure from where it came. Didn’t want my coffee to see more of me. Gluped. Yumm.

I closed the window. Turned ON the heater. Arranged my cozy bed. Thug. A big jump into my thick blanket. I made the whole room dark. Still the aroma of my deodorant made my room smell great. My body wanted this rest. It wanted to sleep without any disturbance.

Everything was set. Closed my eyes. That one gap. That one G-A-P. I felt void. I have been very busy throughout my life time and never sensed what I missed the most. Breakup was never an issue. I was so strong to get affected. I was so occupied that I forgot that I am single.

 I just understood I have lost my sleep. Turned on the light and searched for a note. I wanted to pendown. Damn!! My 30 Kilos permissible luggage did not have place for a notebook. I can open my latop and type it. But I always felt a pen in a better conductor of emotions than a keyboard.

After all these months of my breakup, probably today was the day of realization. I am all set to fall in love. All over again. I am probably good at that. I remember the moments when I made my girl smile. The moments when I made her blush. The moments I made her fly. The moments I made her feel special. The moments I expressed love. I loved being in love.

Finding the right girl. Falling in love like crazy. Chasing to the get the glimpse of her. Planning the scenes to impress. Scribbling the phrases of emotion.

I know I am all set to fall in love. But where is the girl??

Where the hell are you? It’s already 28 years since I came into this world and you have still not found me? Damn Germany. Couples hugging and kissing all over the streets.

Give me a clue where you are!! I am all set to chase it. And take the 16 sips of coffee together!!

 -Aravind Mohan